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Introduction
Before you roll your eyes, snap your fingers, and say: “Oh no he didn’t!” listen to what I want:
• I want a girl who knows what’s good for her. Seriously. If I ever give you that look you should apologize, be quiet, and give me what I want if you know what’s good for you.
• A girl who can drive fast. I know it sounds like a contradiction that I want a girl who can drive, but seriously—Banks don’t rob themselves, and I sometimes I need money. A Danica Patrick would be worth her weight in money for my purposes.
• A girl who is a talented mime. Better yet, a mute. Women should be seen, not heard.
• Don’t use bad grammar. "U r fun I lik u lol ttyl" is not a sentence. I already read and write on a third grade level so I am good with the “big” words.
• If you already have a boyfriend, fiancé, or husband that’s a plus. He can provide you with food, shelter, clothing and gifts. He can take you to the mall to try on 1000 pairs of pants just to leave with nothing. All I want is my money. And if I am feeling like rewarding you, then he can hold the camera.
• Lastly, if you cannot tell that everything above was all a big joke then I feel sorry for you. Really. I. Am. Sorry.
That’s it for now. I’m done.
Information
Sexual Orientation:
Straight
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Looking For: Women, Couples (man/woman) or Couples (2 women) |
Birthdate: | January 23, 1984 |
Relocate?: | Maybe/Yes |
Marital Status: | Single |
Height: | 177-180 cm |
Body Type: | Athletic |
Smoking: | I'm a non-smoker |
Drinking: | I'm a light/social drinker |
Drugs: | Prefer not to say |
Education: | Master's degree |
Occupation: | Researcher |
Race: | Caucasian |
Religion: | Not applicable |
Have Children: | No |
Want Children: | Maybe |
Male Endowment: | Long/Thick |
Circumcised: | Yes |
Speaks: | English |
Hair Color: | Brown |
Hair Length: | Short |
Eye Color: | Blue |
Glasses or Contacts: | None |